Lunatics and Princesses

First off, may I just say that I'm totally in love with this new sweater of mine. It's worth every cent I paid for it. Well, Dad paid for it, but he owed me the money anyway and all's fair in parental relations and shopping.

Working on my writing again. Fic-ish things this time; I'm working on the Jewel Thieves on (Galadrigoddess! That's you!) And hopefully I'll have the first chapter or two done by the end of next week.

Also working on The Huge Project, now that I've got all the kinks in the story line worked out. And the Very Secret Project, which isn't going to be posted ANYWHERE until it's finished. And the Real Life I-Could-Actually-Publish-This Project, which is (still) in the research stages. However, a giant shoutout to National Geographic Magazine: You guys are truly wonderful. Yea, and there was Much Rejoicing.

Third off, may I just say that I hate parties. Especially 9/11 tribute ones where the band does really bad covers of "Bring Me to Life" and Christina Aguilera, and then sings a lighter-waving version of "Proud to Be an American" in all its sappy glory.

I hate that song. Even more than the Glenn Miller Orchestra's "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer," if that were at all possible.

But whatever. I met Yosh (good) and saw Scott Savacool (also good). He is now an air-traffic controller in Fresno.

Random Fact: There are 68 songs on my AZ Mix MP3 list.

This song reminds me of Jason, who I had a giant crush on for a while. Alta kind of made this 'our song' which was really funny because she used to tease me so much about it.

I miss Jason sometimes.

When we were watching the news, he just held onto me and I cried and cried and cried.

I don't think I ever said "thank you."

I've eaten more so far today than I've eaten all week. And dinner's not till five or six or something.

I ate:
a chocolate chip muffin
a dinner roll
five pieces of pie
grapes
two crescent rolls
and a peppermint pattie.

And I'm still hungry.

The bad part about this is I can't do my Magical Sit Ups for a while, because when I lie flat on my back I can't lift my head since I banged it the other day. My neck hurts even when I sneeze.

We watched the Maniacs before. The Maniacs are the people who run in the Turkey Day Race that goes down our street every year. We all watch them from the living room and make fun of them. Maybe it's mean but you really set yourself up for ridicule if you go mincing down the street in yellow leggings and a hunting cap, you know? Anyway, we all laughed and had a good time. I took pictures, go me.

Maurice called before too. He told me all about his comic and how it's progressing. I'm officially a badass daywalking vampire, who's a neutral character that the good guys think is bad, but who's really on their side and winds up with (guess) Maurice's character. We have two kids, a girl named Avelina Meshia and a boy with no name. WOO!

How cool is that.

Avelina is saccarineayako's name in my story. I looooove it. Ayako-chan let me know if you don't like it and I'll change it.

I found my notes, but of course, I can make very little sense of them. This means that I have to take an extra two hours to sort out the mess of random words, doodles, and sentence fragments that are my notes.

Excerpt from notes:

"1. original geisha has piece figwit i love lur lur lur .10 .10 .10 DWAI ages as of 1906 Indian Ocean no, they'll think he's sleeping in a puddle of red paint."

Oy fucking vey. I bring this on myself.

Stayed home with a sinus headache today. Took some NyQuil and wound up sleeping till about twelve or so. Now I keep thinking that I should take a shower, but I already took one this moring around seven before going back to sleep. Damn brain. I always screw things up.

I've been doing research for TJS again. I'm still having a hard time with the timelines- I want to use Hapshetsut (I know it's spelled wrong, I know) but her reign was about a thousand years before they really started to use jade in China. So I'll have to think of something else. Probably a jealous concubine, or something. I don't know. And I'm still having trouble with the names.

I want to go to Little Italy and Chinatown, and buy things that I don't need and food I shouldn't eat.

I have this horrible feeling that the shit is going to hit the fan on something. Not quite sure what, but something. Can't fucking wait. And I still have to call AZ and disappoint several people.

>>>>>>>>>>

I've decided that when I fall in love I want it to be just like this song.

Yeah, okay, that was random. I feel better now.
Arrgh.

I feel like the bottom of a taxi cab right about now. It's cold (although not raining like yesterday, thank god) and overcast, my nose is still running and my hair isn't working.

I guess the worst part of it is I'm stupidly homesick for Arizona. Maybe I shouldn't be listening to my AZMix, but I can't help it. Right now it's warm and sunny and there's flowers all over the place.

It's not really the same anymore, but it is. Alta's still there even though Tamara is gone. Actually everyone but Alta, Maurice, and JC are gone. Phooey. Right now I feel like driving around the valley, bumping O-Town and feeling like a total geek but not caring. Or making bruchietta with Jonelle. Oddly enough I miss Danica.

Arrgh. Am only half looking forward to this weekend.

Oh, Ayako-chan. Have an idea floating around in my head for a dance thing. You have to help me choreograph it, okay? Yeah. Random, I know.

*hits wall*

Am putting aside RP persona for a few minutes. So there.

And I find in doing so that I have nothing to say. I'm still up at Kate's, and feeling very college-y. I really want to go here next spring, although I have no idea how to get in considering it's been two years since I graduated. We'll see. I'll probably apply over the summer.

Am still working on "The Epic Tale Of The Queen Of Bayonne." It's going swimmingly. Go me.

Kristen lent me her copy of "The Skies Of Pern!" JOY!!! Thank you thank you thank you if you read this. She also gave me a pointe lesson in the hallway. So now, not only can I tie my ribbons correctly, I can do this cool little jump thing. Needs work, but what doesn't. Yippie yi yo kai yay motherfucker. Heh heh heh.

I really feel like watching the Fast and the Furious. Vin Diesel is such a biscuit. I love that part when him and the girl (Jordana Brewster?) are in the garage, and she pushes him up against the car and has her way with him. I am so damn jealous.

Wrote two new songs today: "Drowning my Sorrow" and "Intoxicated." Go me. Intoxicated was inspired after a fashion by xxcelebornxx, but the lyrics to both songs will not appear on here until they are copyrighted. A spoofy version will, but the lyrics to that aren't finished yet.

Am tired. Am going to bed.

Am exhausted. Cannot cope.

Today was... interesting, in a word. Woke up at the crack of eleven, per usual for a Saturday morning, muddled around for a while, etc. etc. Stole Mom's car for an "excursion" to Wal Mart for film for THE PHOTO SHOOT, and got back about an hour later than we were supposed to, but we got distracted by "magazines." So.

We were taking pics, doing makeup, clothes, and stuff all day. This culminated with an impromptu run to the railroad tracks, but by the time we got there it was too dark to take pics. Mickey fickey.

Anyway, the ones we took are really cool, and they'll probably be posted on here by next week or so. Who knows.

Talked to Celeborn earlier... something about meeting at Mirkwood tomorrow night. We shall see. Wonder if the pictures of me dressed as a mermaid will get me any farther with him... but I shouldn't be thinking like that. Seeing how he is married and all.

Ice storm today. Slipped while taking the garbage out- luckily the snow broke my fall, but my pants got all wet, and I had to go in and change. In other news, almost got in a car accident a few times going about town for work, without getting much accomplished. BUT- put three checks in the bank today (good thing.) On the downside dad is not letting me take time off to go to Jersey. I guess I'll just have to go on the weekends for a while. Phooey.

I'm wearing my Yankees cap backwards right now. I'm not quite sure why, but it feels appropriate somehow. I feel all tough-girl and stuff. "Girls kick ass. Says so on a t-shirt."
Took Anna's band quiz- here's the result:



Here's the result with the answers changed:



... because we all know that my personal stylist dresses me in Dolce&Gabbana every morning.

Uploaded "Blood and Rain" on ff.n. If I don't get any reviews the readers will feel my wrath. I will hunt them all down make them eat their own brains. In a lemon-pepper sauce. With a slightly fruity white wine.

I should read "Hannibal" again.

I just wrote about my dream. Dur. I have to go to work as soon as dad's out of the shower.

I like NutriGrain Bars. I like to rip them out of the wrappings and devour them.

I like this song I'm listening to. It's the Dark Angel theme. "Hey, you're kinda cute." BAM.

I added three people to my friends list. kenope, spiritualized, and rachel_rosie.

The characters for the new fic are as follows: Me- Rider of Rohan, Jeannette- Rider of Rohan, Anna- dwarven princess (I'm using the Xanth philosophy: the men of the species are ugly, but the women are very beautiful, just short,) Kate- elf girl (one of Galadriel's handmaidens,) Alta- a Fire Mage of the Haradim (who left her people for the North,) Tamara- hobbit, Kelsey- hobbit. Biff and Maurice are in it too, Biff as a solider of Gondor and Maurice as Alta's best friend and companion. I think I like doing character development more than actually writing the story.

I can't get the damn computer to burn CD's.

I got a pic of Arwen dying in Lothlorien. It's pretty cool, and I want to upload it as my default pic, but I have to mess with it a little first.

People keep telling me how Arwenish I am, but I'm not! I like the pic, yeah, but that's about it. I am so not that character. In fact I don't think I'm any character from this series. The closest I come is Eowyn. And she's a blonde.

I feel like getting into a fight. I want to beat the snot out of someone, in a bad way. I hate when this happens. I get all restless and upset, and I always wind up whining about "why did I have to be born *here*, where there are no orcs to kill, no quests to take, no thread to burn, no government agents coming after me to kill me so I can kill them first?"

-_- sigh.

Well, work calls, I guess. Fun fun fun!

GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!
* bites a NutriGrain Bar in half *

Where to start?

I have a sore throat, a head cold, a cough, and the beginnings of a headache. My dad just through a tantrum over the computer and my mom's email account, I'm not quite sure why... and on top of all this I was feeling introspective today, and thoughtful, which leads to people poking me and asking me what's wrong.

Other than that life is okay. Anna and I are working on a movie, to be shot this summer; Tom is in it for the sole purpose of being continually mauled. It's gonna be great. Assuming we finish it in time, but I'm sure we will. I got ribbons for my pointe shoes today and put them on after dinner. Now I feel like a real ballerina. I told my mom that and she says I am a ballerina, regardless of whether or not I took years of lessons. I love my mom, she's always there for me when I need her.

I have this habit of having conversations with people in my head... It helps to sort things out alot. When I'm mad at someone, I yell at them in my head and then I'm not mad at them anymore, that sort of thing. Usually it's people I know, but for some reason I was talking to Legolas in my head today. I think it's because he figures so prominently in the fanfic I'm writing- anyway, in my daydream thing we were sitting on this log, just talking. And he asks me, "If you had the choice, would you rather live in Middle Earth or America?" or something to that effect. It got me to thinking, and comparing this world to theirs.

And I wonder... is this the end of our own age? Is this world poisoned and broken? It seems that way to me. In LOTR, they fight a war. It's good against evil, pretty cut and dried when it comes right down to it. Here, we're "fighting" a war. The only casualties are the civilians, and the whole thing is pointless. There's no up close fighting anymore, so nothing is learned from it. We should be beyond war by now- so why aren't we? Why are some people starving and some people throwing food away? It's pointless, unnecessary. Maybe it's because we have nothing to fight for, nothing to come together against. So many would people would say I'm wrong about that. They'd say, "Oh, we have to stand together against Osama Bin Laden." We did, it's over now. All that's left are the tattered American flags that no one pays much attention to hanging off of car antennas. You can't fight evil when it's so spread out and so much a part of everything. Maybe that's it- our world is made up entirely of gray areas, and nothing is black and white and easy to see and define. If something is so intricate, won't it collapse in on itself?

And yet I don't think, if given the choice, that I could leave this place. Even to go live with the Elves in someplace akin to Paradise or Eden. I couldn't leave New York. That city runs in the blood in my veins and I'd be heartsick and lost without it. Am I thinking differently now that the Towers are gone? Yes and no. I still don't think I could leave, even though things have taken a nose dive for the worse.

Days like this I wish I had a motorcycle and it was summer time so the roads were clear. I wish there was someplace left to explore. I wish there were still quests to take and evil to fight; maybe that's why I write myself into fanfics so much. For a sense of purpose, which I don't have right now. I feel so lost sometimes.