Lunatics and Princesses

From Metaquotes (by way of misscam and tryell:

"Al Qaeda says: 'Britain is now burning with fear, terror and panic in its northern, southern, eastern, and western quarters.' Bitch, please. Osama, you live in a fucking cave. You're like an evil Batman or something. No wonder you have a thing for blowing up commuters, because you will never commute because you live in a cave. You see transport, and you are filled with rage, because you? Live in a cave. You could try forming a political wing to... oh, wait, you can't because YOU LIVE IN A CAVE. Twat.

The BBC paused news coverage to show *Eastenders*. That'd be the nationwide fear, terror and panic, then."

I love the British. And I am so a sucker for Eastenders, even though I usually have no idea what's going on and can't make out what they're saying half the time since the mics they use pick up background noise.

Also, yay for the British not being drama queens like Americans generally are. <3 London!

...

I am exhausted and very upset right now. Exhausted because I took two Benadryl and went to bed at midnight- wooooo six hours of sleep. Very upset because I tried to buy a pair of cargo pants online and the only size left that they have available is a 0.

Cargo pants are stupidly hard to locate when they're out of style. WTF, retailers? Why are you trying to torture me? Don't you know that my only pair of cargo pants has a huge rip in them?

...

I'm also very overwhelmed. Overwhelmed because there really isn't any way for me to move out, financially speaking... Technically, I could do rent no problem, but the more I think about it, the less the whole thing seems to work. Namely because even though I'll have a job to pay for stuff, I'm still taking an insane, full time course load- and this leaves for how many hours? And the jobs around here suck. Unless I can take out an extra loan or something, maybe. I have to save for Jeannette's wedding, too. Which wouldn't be too bad, except I have to save enough for four plane tickets, hotel, car rental, blah blah blah.

However, I can't stay here. That's not going to work at all. I am not going out of my mind like I have the past two semesters, with trying to stay on top of everything with a dementedly limited commuting schedule. I told Mom yesterday that if I'm going to stay here, I'm going to need a heavy mix of ritalin and zoloft just to stay sane and focused. Besides, I'll be gone all the time anyway.

I think I'm just exhausted by the thought of work and school and studying, all at the same time. Because that's all that I'm going to be doing. Working and studying. At home, all I do is commute and study. So it's really like trading off one evil for another, and that's fine. But throw in getting to Arizona on top of it all, and I'm a nervous wreck. A nervous wreck with no social life, lol.

I wish my brain would stop thinking and being generally pessimistic for like, two seconds. Cargo pants would help, but there are none, dammit.

It's been a great day today. Work was nothing special- everything just rolled along smoothly. I walked around singing what I could remember of "The Boy from Ipanema" because I was all crushingonorlandobloomagain. Also invited Joanie to join the pirate crew of the Good Ship Marzipan. She'd make a perfect pirate, methinks, arr, ye lubbers! (Being the captain, I have that perogative, so ha.)

Possible reasons why Feather is dancing on air:

~ She has new pants? *cue angel choir music*
~ And a new tank top?
~ AND a black bikini top?
~ She has another paycheck on friday!
~ She didn't eat any bad things today!
~ It stopped raining!
~ She's finally got someone to dance with!
~ Orlando Bloom being very good looking and nice to boot is one of god's many gifts to the world. Hee.
~ No money again! Who gives a fuck?
~ House to herself!
~ I took a shower so I don't smell like a donut anymore.

They used to thin out the immigrant's milk in the tenements with formaldehyde.

HELLO?!? I don't care how used to it you are. You've got to notice the taste. Yech!

Check this out. An absolute must for all Evil Empresses-to-be out there.

( Where winks, suggestive remarks, and body language won't get me what I want, a well aimed semi-automatic will... )


( Feather's Lament for Orlando )

Spent this morning shopping with Momzoid. We went to Walmart and she tried on ten pairs of the same size and style shoe before getting some brown clunkers.

HEY! I GOT A NEW FLEECE!

IT’S EXACTLY THE SAME AS THE OLD ONE!

BUT WITHOUT THE PAINT STAINS! GO ME!!!

I feel that the first momentous occasion of the day warranted capitalization.

The second momentous event:

Seeing Jason Breckenridge in Wegmans while making an ass of myself looking for a spoon to get olives out of the tray. I backed right into him and almost knocked him into the deli counter. Whoops! He has a lip piercing now. I always kinda wondered what happened to him- the rumor was that he did nothing all day but heavy drugs and fuck his girlfriends. I don’t know, but I’d wager a guess that he looks really good without his shirt off. Whoa dude.

The third momentous event:

The Gnome Lady of K-Mart. We went there so Mom could get some jeans, and it took forever for someone to get to the dressing rooms to unlock them. After a while someone came on the pager system “Betty to housewares, Betty to housewares,” and I leaned over into the phone and said “AND SOMEONE TO THE DRESSING ROOMS!” just as the Gnome Lady came up behind us and let us in. She gave some nasty looks, especially after Mom snort-laughed into the inside of her coat and started snickering about Gringotts and Orcs. I felt kinda bad- as if I had justified the Gnome Lady’s opinion that every single person born in my generation is a rude, loud, brash, uncouth guttermouth. Which, generally, I am not.

I got a job as a substitute baker. I work in Smiths from 3 a.m. till 9 a.m. whenever someone needs a day off or something. Anyway I start working tonight so I’m not gonna be on long, seeing as how I have to go to bed in ten minutes. I took a long nap this afternoon though, so hopefully that will help add to the sleep tally.

Although I had really weird dreams. I mean weird. Hot, but strange. (No. They did not involve Jason Breckenridge. Thank you. It was someone else.)

I hope you have all had fun reading this entry. Do any of you actually read these things? I mean I know you do, you comment. Duh. Excuse me for babbling.

Anyone with MTV wanna tape me some videos so I can learn the dance moves? Especially “Dirrty.” *evil grin* Domo arigato gozaimasu.

*And I have a new icon! Gold star to anyone who guesses who Olodumare is*

Operation Pants And Tank Tops has been sucessful.
Over. Roger that. Regroup ASAP. Over. This is Delta Sly Honey, the Dead Platoon. Roger that. Over.

*sneaks around clutching clothes with the tags hanging out all over the place*