Medical nonsense

[nirix5]

Diagnosis: who the fuck knows
Here, take: Zyrtec and Prednosone
If this doesn't clear up: come back and we'll do all kinds of freaky tests
Also: get your bloodwork done
Because: of the blatant bruising. What are those from, anyway?

(Um. I... don't know.)

From injury?

(Yes. Yes, injury.)

Well, based on the fact that you bruise easily, your gums bleed when you brush your teeth, and [insert sensitive medical issue here*] you probably have a low platelet count. Get your bloodwork done so we know why, if it's a bone problem or what.

(Okay.)

Also, you should get a pelvic exam if you haven't recently.

(...Okay.)

And you have a deviated septum. But you don't have to worry too much about it.

(...)

Eat lots of fruits and vegetables. Have a nice day.

*Apparently getting clots when you're on your period is a bad thing. I feel stupid, but I totally did not know that. See, people, this is what happens when you don't have lots of money and/or insurance- you only go to doctors when you're deathly ill or can't stand something anymore. (Read- if you don't have anything visibly wrong with you, you don't go to the gynecologist. And then you don't know that clotting isn't normal.)

Yeeeeeeeeah.

Well, I've got a birth control appointment thing on Wednesday, so I guess I'll find out more then.

Bah.

.

Comments

[armyj.livejournal.com]

Um, Ari, you're special...... Even Us Stupid men know stuff like that. Well I don't count cause I'm a "Trained Medical Professional" but still..... Yeah calling me a trained medical professional is scary and funny at the same time isn't it. I'm been one for over a year now and it still makes me giggle.

[nirix5.livejournal.com]

Just stay away from the the defibrillator paddles, J. Those things are not toys, mmmkay?