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I researched and wrote this in two hours. I must be out of my fucking mind.


The Japanese kimono is a garment known for its elegant and simple lines. However, there is no ensemble on the planet that better shows that looks can be deceiving; the kimono is one of the most elaborate of ethnic costumes, and can be (especially for the novice) incredibly difficult to wear.

Just buying a kimono can be a dizzying experience. Many factors come into consideration when choosing a kimono; a kimono tells a lot about its wearer. Age, marital status, family background, and personal taste all come into question, as well as the level of formality of the occasion that you’ll be wearing it to, and the time of the year it takes place.

There are six main types of kimono. Uchikake, the elaborate robes that are worn by brides only at their wedding ceremonies, Furisode, a formal garment worn by young, unmarried women, famous the world over for its ankle-length sleeves, Tomesode, the married woman’s formal garment, similar to the furisode except for its shorter sleeves and more subdued patterns (the pattern is traditionally only below the obi on this one), Houmongi and Tsukesage, the second most formal wear for married women (known as ‘visiting dress’ it is more flamboyant in its patterns) and Yukata, a very informal kimono, usually made of dyed cotton.

For the purpose of keeping this essay sane and readable, the only type of kimono discussed is one I would advise someone of my own age and background to wear. The main reason for this is that Japanese society is beginning to change: up to about twenty years ago, unmarried Japanese women over a certain age were virtually non-existent. The etiquette for wearing kimono had been set in stone for decades. Today, however, women tend to marry later; it is not unusual to see a woman in her early twenties wearing the ‘swinging sleeves’ of childhood, and not putting them away until she is anywhere from twenty three to twenty five, regardless of martial status, where once women started wearing tomesode at the age of eighteen or nineteen.

Being twenty-one and unmarried, the kind of kimono I have chosen, and would recommend to my friends, is the tomesode. Technically, we can all still wear furisode, but doing so is akin to a twenty-one-year old dressing in a schoolgirl’s uniform. (And it’s nowhere near as sexy.) The formality also suits our lifestyles- places we would wear kimono are only certain formal events or ceremonies, where formal ethnic dress is acceptable for the occasion. For instance, some friends of mine and I plan to bring out our kimono for the premier performance of the Syracuse Opera’s “Madame Butterfly” in May.

Which brings up a whole new set of problems. Choosing a kimono for an occasion in May requires the proper seasonal fabric, patterns and motifs, colors, and accessories. For instance, one would not wear an open-weave ‘ro’ silk gauze kimono in December. Ro kimonos are only worn for two months out of the year, during the hottest months of the Japanese summer. Wearing a ro kimono at any other time of year, regardless of temperature, is tantamount to fashion suicide- similar to wearing white after Labor Day but with higher consequences. The rest of the year, lined ‘awase’ silk kimono are worn, no matter what the weather is outside.

The choice of patterns and motifs that are embroidered or woven into the fabric of the kimono is a vast one, and deciding on one particular pattern over another is very important. To wear a kimono in May, it is important that the decoration correspond to that month. You wouldn’t wear a kimono decorated with brilliant orange and yellow maple leaves in spring; nor would you wear a pattern of pine branches, a pattern that is generally worn around the New Year in January. Likewise, you wouldn’t wear cherry blossoms in November. Popular kimono designs for May include flower embroideries of peonies and irises, although because of their blooming time, iris designs can be seen in the second half of April and the first half of May.

The accessories must also be in harmony with the main kimono: the underwear, or nagajuban, which will sometimes show as the hem is lifted; the obi, or wide belt that holds the whole thing together, and its accessories; hairpieces, fans, purses, and shoes must all complement one another.

Now comes the easy part. Actually putting the kimono on is not that difficult; after going through the hassle of picking one out, getting all the accessories correctly put together, and paying for it (some kimono cost thousands and thousands of dollars, not counting the elaborate accessories) it’s kind of a relief to do something that you don’t have to think about too much. Once upon a time, the art of wearing kimono was passed on from mother to daughter, but nowadays Western clothing is the norm. With kimono only being worn on an average of once a year, for the New Year’s celebrations, kimono schools have sprung up all over Japan to teach the subtleties of wearing kimono. Unfortunately, I am not a kimono school- I am, in the words of O-Ren Ishii from the Kill Bill movies, a “silly little Caucasian girl who likes to play with samurai swords.” I will do my best to explain how to wear a kimono, hopefully without sending your head spinning.

The first thing you do, before even picking up the actual kimono, is to put your special tabi socks on. Tabi sock are special socks that are made for traditional Japanese shoes, known for their split toe. Socks always go on first because once the kimono is on, it’s difficult to bend over from the waist.

Step 1: Underwear. Western style underwear is not worn with kimono. Instead, nagajuban is worn. It’s a kind of under-robe that doubles as a slip. Even though it is worn underneath the kimono, its hem may still show; thus it may have a subtle pattern corresponding to that of the outer kimono. Put the nagajuban on as you would a bathrobe. But be careful- the Western way of wearing robes, i.e. wrapping the right side over the left side in the front, is the way corpses are dressed in Japan. Unless you’re a vampire trying to blow your cover, the proper way to wrap the robe is left over right. Now that that’s out of the way, hold the bottom end of the collar in each hand, making sure that the seam comes to the center or your back.

Hold both ends of the collar with one hand and find the seam on the back with the other hand. Make a space between the collar and your neck that is about the size of your fist. While being careful not to pull the collar, wrap your chest with the right front flap. Pull the left front flap over so that the cross section of the two collars ends come to the center. Hold the center of the datejime (a scarf-like belt that gets tucked under the obi and prevents it from wrinkling) with your right hand, and bring it to your left with your left hand. Wrap it around your back, crossing both sides, and bring the ends to the front. Tie it once and turn the ends to the opposite direction. Tuck the ends underneath the datejime and smooth the wrinkles from the back.

Next, pick up the kimono itself and slide your arms into it, just like you did with the nagajuban. Because kimono are a one-size-fits-all garment, you’ll have to size it to yourself as you get into it, but it’s not that difficult. Hold the collars about a third away from the very ends. Pick up the fabric that you are holding until the hem barely touches the floor. Determine the width of the right flap so that the seam line comes to the center side of your body; do the same with the left flap. Spread the left flap, keeping the width in mind; then pull up the right flap, so that it’s a little higher than the left. Pull up the left flap, lowering it to the point where the hem just touches your feet.

Hold the koshihimo with your right hand (the koshihimo is a long, plain belt, about two an a half inches wide, that is tied underneath the kimono to prevent it from getting worn out of shape) and cross it in the back over your hip bones. Tie it in front in a slip knot, tucking the ends and the loop underneath the koshihimo. Insert your hands into the “pouch” this has created in the front of the kimono and straighten out the bottom of both the right and left flaps. Next, straighten the collar so that the center aligns with the center of your back.

Using the collar of the nagajuban, determine where the outer kimono’s collar should be in the front. Insert your left hand into the “pouch” again, this time holding the collar in place. Take the center of the datejime with your right hand and bring it to the left side of you with your left hand (the same as you did with the nagajuban.) Cross it in the back and bring the ends to the front. Once more, tie the datejime once and turn the ends to the opposite sides, tucking then ends in underneath. Smooth out the wrinkles in the back, pull the “pouch” down so that it’s even with your hips, and straighten out the line that it has created.

Congratulations. You’re now officially into your kimono. Sadly, the fun part is over- here’s where it gets complicated.

Several belts hold the kimono together, the most prominent of which is the obi. A woman's formal obi is usually 4 meters long and 60 centimeters in width. Formal obi belts are made of a brocade or tapestry weave, complementing the overall ensemble. The more elaborate the pattern, the more formal the kimono is the basic rule. Today, an obi completely covered in with woven or embroidered designs are now worn by brides. There are many different tying styles, some with knots that can take over an hour to create. One of the most common knots, and one usually used with tomesode, is the drum knot.

The obi looks like one solid piece; don’t be deceived by this. Several smaller belts and accessories help hold the knot together. The first thing to do, when tying an obi, is to put on the obiita, a wide, flat piece of padding worn underneath the obi that prevents it from getting wrinkled.

Next, fold the obi in half width-wise, and wrap your torso once. Bring the end to the front and determine the length of the end of the obi (called the tesaki) as the width of your body plus about fifteen centimeters. Wrap the obi one more time, and hold the end with your left hand. Carefully pull out the end, and wrap the obi again. Next, bring the end to the center of your back, and hold it up so that the obi is underneath. Fold up the dangling end of the obi (called the tare) while holding the other end. Slide the karihimo underneath the dangling end, then bring it to the front and tie it at the center of the obi. Bring the short end of the obi to the front and hold it there temporarily with the karihimo.

Using the flat of your hand, widen the dangling end in the back, so that it spans the width of your torso. Tie another karihimo over the widened obi. Lift the end of the dangling end- about seven to eight centimeters from the edge- onto your waist and tie another karihimo.

Now, pick up the obimakura. The obimakrua is a layer of padding, shaped like a small pillow, that gives the obi volume. It’s attached to a long fabric belt. Hold it upside down and place it underneath the obi. Rotate the obimakura so that the flat part touches your back, and bring the strings to the front and tie them on your left, tucking the strings underneath the obi.

The obiage is a kimono scarf, and while technically part of the underwear of the kimono, shows at the top of the obi. It always corresponds to the theme of the kimono, and is usually dyed in pretty colors. Some can be very elaborate and expensive. Place the obiage over the obimakura, but underneath the obi. Bring the obiage around to the front and tie it temporarily.

Almost done- we’re starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, if you can believe that while looking down at a mess of fabric ties lying over your stomach. Untie the karihimo holding the dangling end of the obi and tuck it up under the first. Determine the bottom line of the drum knot, and tie the karihimo at the front. Untie the other karihimo and bring the short end of the obi to the back, tucking it into the “drum.” Put the obijime on in the center of the short end, and tie it in front. Remove the remaining karihimo and finish tying the obiage. Wrap the obiage above the obi once, making sure both the ends are of equal length, and tie them once. Make a loop with the upper end by folding it downward, and put the lower end into the loop. Put the knot in the Obi and tuck the ends between Obi.

The last belt (promise!) worn with the obi is the obijime. It’s a thin cord that goes around the obi in the center. There are many different styles of tying this last belt, from the very easy to the very complex, with different knots meaning different things. I stand by the fact that there is elegance in simplicity (read: I’m just too dumb to figure out the cool knots.) Wrap the obijime over the obi once. Make both ends equal length, and tie them. Make a loop with the upper end, and put the lower end into the loop. Tighten the knot and tuck the ends into the obijime.

Congratulations for real this time. No more tying, balancing, resisting the urge to hold bits and pieces of your clothes in your teeth to make it easier, complaining at those who were nice enough to help you into this monstrosity, and blessing Velcro, even though you’re not lucky enough to get to use it in this case. Now the only thing left to do is slip your feet into your zori, or matching sandals, tuck your fan into the top of your obi, grab your little brocade purse and head out the door. Not falling all over yourself while walking or sitting is a whole different essay; so is mastering the fine art of using the bathroom in kimono (something, by the way, that geisha practice for weeks before their debuts.) In the meantime, just teeter prettily about in your kimono, and smirk inwardly when someone comes up to you and says something ridiculous like, “Wow! What a pretty kimono! And it looks so comfortable and easy to wear.” Yeah, right. Looks can be deceiving.

Erg. That one gave me a headache, but I got it handed in on time. Four pages, and me ad libbing for half the time so as not to use too many Japanese terms. Oy vey.

Next week's essay: Classification. And because he wants us to be great thinkers, we have to pick a topic we have trouble wrapping our minds around, as opposed to say, car parts. Kill me.

Things I can't quite wrap my mind around:

~ The inner workings of Grissom (re: bondage and butterflies)
~ The concept of zero
~ The concept of infinity
~ Why LOTR affects me the way it does
~ Fandom in general
~ Slash (The Why and Wherefore. However, I'm saving this topic for a psychology paper in the future)
~ City lights as viewed from a distance, and why they affect me the way they do
~ Very advanced math theorems
~ Republicans
~ George Bush, and Why the American People Put Him In Office
~ Why violence is so much fun, even if there is a chance you'll get killed
~ How telephones work
~ Trucks

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