Stupid day is stupid

[nirix5]

I've tried very hard to avoid the 9/11 nonsense. Hell, I've trying to avoid it since its second anniversary, because I find it trite, annoying, and a giant reopening of old wounds that just drives me crazy and makes me irrationally angry. I like my anger, though, as it's a very useful coping mechanism for me. This being the tenth anniversary and all, I've done everything I can to go to ground, since a lot of people don't understand why I get mad about them caterwauling about 9/11 and rememberance and all that crap, and it's easier for me not to deal with them, and them not to deal with me, and everyone goes home happy. Luckily (kind of? ugh) Binghamton has had to deal with catastrophic flooding since Wednesday, so all of the engergy that would normally go into 9/11 malingering has been going into, you know, flood relief and constructive stuff like that. Awesome.

So I figured I'd be okay if I just kind of hid out today. It was working well until I was halfway through dinner. I was flipping through channels on tv and came across the Princess Diaries. I was like, "Oh, this came out ten years ago, when I was still happy" and then I thought about life pre-9/11 and burst into tears with a hunk of garlic bread in my mouth. Choked on it and couldn't stop crying.

Thank god I'm vain. I thought about how stupid I must look and got myself under control.

Now I'm angry again. Fuck terrorists, and fuck 9/11. I lose my dignity for NO ONE. ARRRRRRRRRRRGH. FUCK.

Comments

[nirix5.livejournal.com]

Mmmmmm. I'd rather see the chocolate Jesus, and possibly eat him.

Heheh therapy... you'll rock it, I'm sure :)

I wish more people would acknowledge that it's okay not to borrow trouble and tragedy. There's too much. If you come out and say, "Earthquake in Haiti- that sucks, but I don't really care too much" you're branded some kind of thing that crawled out from under a rock. I'm so sick of that mentality.

[magelette.livejournal.com]

That's because the world rewards martyrs, which is why both my mother and mother-in-law (and my crackpot adviser) thrive on this whole martyrdom complex they've got going. They believe they'll be rewarded for borrowing trouble. I believe they'll drive me to an aneurism.

[nirix5.livejournal.com]

Someone wants to borrow trouble? I'll give 'em trouble. (insert really cool, Kill Bill-esque scene where I kill everybody DEAD. Neener, neener.)

(Also, M doesn't strike me as the martyr type. Is she really? We've kind of made friends in the office. I think. Mostly I'm manic and she laughs at me with a hysterical tinge in her voice.)

[magelette.livejournal.com]

At least she laughs at you. She still takes my death threats seriously, after two years of being my adviser.

I'll fill you in tomorrow. When do you get to campus? What're you doing between 11 and 12?

[nirix5.livejournal.com]

Bupkiss. Wanna do lunch? Or are those your office hours?

[magelette.livejournal.com]

Nada office hours tomorrow. I'm meeting L at 12:15 for Remedial Potions. I can text you when I'm done with les students at 11 and we can do lunchie whatevery.

[nirix5.livejournal.com]

Sweeto. Mind if I tag along for Potions?