Lunatics and Princesses

And they're usually involved with horses, and he always leaves them alone in their tents. Then he goes and hangs out with the brunette chick and touches her ears. WTF??? Oh, what the hell. Get down with your bad self, Veggo.

So, where have I been for the last few weeks, you ask?

Here, there and everywhere, up, down and in between. Things have been crazy. This should come as no surprise.

I, Feather, am a Nice Person. Therefore, I have Cut This For You. Yay.

( Work, and Joanie’s Defection )

( Work, carrying on )

( And then on Friday, Aunt Sean came up to visit )

( Wherein Feather gets FIRED!!! )

( New Jersey: Part one )

( New York: part one, with Original Paper Entry! )

( New York, day two )

( A random day trip to Washington, D.C. )

Yesterday we didn’t do much. Just cooked with Uncle Kevin, but that involved a trip to the Asian supermarket, homemade teriyaki sause, miso soup, and daikon salad. Now I know how miso soup is made. It’s an interesting process with seaweed, benito flakes, miso, tofu, and more seaweed. I’m not insanely fond of it but now I know how to make it. Yay!

Today Aunt Sean and I went and saw Secret Window. That movie was insanely predictable and yet somehow enjoyable (probably because of Johnny Depp.) Then we snuck in to watch a few minutes of LOTR (Legolas taking down the elephant!) before coming home again. Then Alex came home, and she, I, and her friend Kelly all went to the mall to see the prom dresses they’re getting tomorrow. Alex looks like a princess, but this isn’t unusual since the girl is drop dead gorgeous. We got our pictures taken at one of those picture things (real informative, I know. The booths in the mall that take you picture with a video camera and make it into a t-shirt.) The guy is going to use one of them for display. Wow! Infamy in a New Jersey Mall. I got two buttons- one of me and Alex, and the other of the three of us.

Then we came home and ate dinner (steak Haddad- or, as Aunt Sean tells me, “STEAK AL-HATTAL!!!!!” Told her it was a piece of Hidalgo, from when he fell into the stake pit, and she it me on the head with a fork. Hee hee.)

So here I am, at the end of a horrendous journal entry. I’ve got a long trip ahead of me tomorrow, which I’m kicking myself for, since Uncle Kevin said that if I could stay an extra day he’d go and see ROTK with me tomorrow. This is something of a personal triumph since he usually never goes to movies. Dammit, dammit. What to do.

Two things that don’t seem to belong anywhere: I have a new [girly] purse. It’s red. Kate picked it out, since I’m useless at that kind of stuff. So, yay. I also have girly shoes. Black high-heeled things, that aren’t high heels per say. It’s wonderful, going by plate glass windows and realizing how good my shoes look with my jeans. As long as I don’t go past my knees, lol.

I’m sick of typing now, so I’m out.

Nellie and Sara, thank you so much for the cards! *blows kisses*

Lise, hang in there, babe.

Love you all. Leave comments and show the love.

Ha ha ha, Scary Movie 3 Kid.

Well, that just about sums up my day at work yesterday. Just WHAM! and that was it. The rest of the day wasn't any better.

Rang up a fine of over $20 at the library over the past few weeks. Mater was pissed about it (understandably so.) Told her though it wasn't all my fault (kelsey kelsey kelsey) I'd give her money anyway. She said to keep my money since she was out for blood. Told her she could have all she wanted seeing as how I seemed to be hemorraging it anyway. Predictably, she was scandalized. Predictably, I offered to go build a menstruation hut out in the back yard where I could sit and do nothing for a week or so and I wouldn't have to talk to anyone and no one would have to talk to me, therefore solving most of the problems that arise in this household. Well, a fourth of them, anyway.

Have to go to work soon. Don't want to. Harold bothers me and Joanie smokes too much.

My mom is Frodo, and Joanie is Sam, and Harold is Gollum.

There is no other way to explain it. That is how they interact. Constantly. It's kind of wearing after a while.

BLAH! Hi ho, hi ho, it's OFF TO FUCKING WORK I GO, WHERE JOANIE WILL TRY TO TELL ME THAT MORMONISM IS ONE OF THE OLDEST RELIGIONS IN THE WORLD, HAROLD WILL SKULK AROUND AND KEN NEVER LISTENS, DRIVING YOURS TRULY TO HER LAST RESORT- HARRY CANARY- AS JOANIE SAYS CAUSE SOMETIMES SHE CAN'T GET THINGS RIGHT AND SHE BELIEVES THAT THE DISNEY FAIRY TALES ARE THE REAL ONES.

THE LITTLE MERMAID FUCKING DIES! GET OVER IT!

The point is, I’m tired as hell, but I don’t have to work tomorrow.

Hallefreakinluja.

We started at midnight instead of 4 AM today. It was for the Dreaded School Order- fifty dozen donuts. One fryer, one proofer, seven hours, CAN YOU HANDLE IT?!?!?!?

Finally came home around nine and fell asleep at about two. Woke up at eight thirty, eastern standard time. Missed my voice lesson, but finished The DaVinci Code.

And now here I sit, wracking my brains for something interesting to update with.

( Written on Saturday )

Workness:

~ Heidi informed me that her poop is still black, due to the black icing on the Halloween cake I made for her daughter’s birthday on Saturday. “It’s still affecting me! It’s still affecting me!” Her kids thing that this is a wonderful thing. Black poop. Who knew.

~ Joanie ripping a tampon out of her purse, waving it at Ken the Manager, yelling, “You want some lunch, Ken? YOU WANT SOME LUNCH?!?” No response from Ken. He might not have noticed, as his head seems to be permanently stuck in a sand pit.

~ Names. Joanie’s mom was going to name her “Robin Charlane” but when she was born, she said that she had never seen hair and eyes so black on a baby, and right at the beginning she knew that this one was going to be a little bitch. She reminded her of Joan of Arc- thus, Joanie. (Joanie says, “They tell me I was a bitch in my last life. I say, damn right I was a bitch in my last life; I’m a bitch in this life, and I’ll be a bitch in the next!”) Her sister, Trina, was named after a prostitute in a book that her mother was reading around the time that she was born. Interestingly enough, a friend of my mother’s sister-in-law named her daughter Trina (which is a Slavic euphemism for prostitute) and this was supposed to be a big joke on Americans, or something. Which is odd because the woman is American.

WalMartness:

~ I got storage boxes the other night. Yay! And wall adhesive stickers, so I can finally put Aragorn up next to Legolas where he belongs. I need to do that before my cat chews on him anymore. He always chews on Aragorn- not just the rolled up poster, but my Two Towers display box thing, and Mom’s Strider bookmark. There’s probably some hidden meaning there but I’m just too dumb to see it. Or maybe I’m reading too much into things and Aragorn just tastes good.

~ Got more lotion. Aveeno this time. Am shopping around for best kind. Am savvy shopper! Go me!

~ Also got a string of pearls to wear in my hair on Friday night. I’m not giving up on the tiaras, but I’ve worn the ones I have a lot lately, and they’re a little bright with my black dress. I’m breaking out the black dress for the first time ever. Except for that one roll of film, but that doesn’t really count. Anyway, the pearls will match nicely, and I’ll throw a couple of matching beaded strands in my hair for added sparkle.

It stupid, almost. My first evening performance of an opera, and I leave the tiara at home. Oh well.

NewYorkness:

~ Talked to Aunt Sean yesterday. She’s quitting her job around November 7th, so I’m probably going to go down around the 8th. Maybe, maybe, maybe will get to stay over at Grandmere’s house. Which will make me stupidly happy because it’s the loft and I love it.

~ Nothing else finalized. Plans due to change without notice.

~ However, I’m in a good position financially right now, since I just got a forbearance on my loan. Apparently I might get a deferment, since the cut off for deferments is something like a thousand dollars a month, and I only make around five hundred. WOOt!

I still don’t know what to do about Halloween. Tess is going trick-or-treating with one of her friends; she just bought her Legolas costume the other night. It looks really good on her, and god knows she’s got the hair for it. Which means that I can do whatever I want. Mom’s going to help me make a quick cloak, but I don’t know what to ‘go as’ so to speak. I did Odile from Swan Lake last year, although it wasn’t much fun as we didn’t go trick-or-treating. So the options remain open. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

What is everyone else doing for Halloween? Tell me!

And I guess that’s it for now. I’m gonna go grab some food and watch the game. Jeter is SO my bitch. Legolas gets jealous about it.

I think I’ll finish re-finishing my Ghetto Evenstar before I go to bed.

Huzzah!

The Long Expected Update

Okay. So I have my new bedroom now. And a new Aragorn poster (ROTK) and a new dresser, and embroidery silk, and yards of fabric, and two new CD’s (Fighting Temptations Soundtrack and the Lara Croft 2 Soundtrack), and a new book (The Action Heroine’s Handbook.) And I am TOTALLY FREAKING OUT.

Sometimes it just hits me that I only have x amount of days until December and ROTK, and x amount of days is not nearly long enough to do everything I have to do. I need to learn how to sew. Fast. Fast and Furious- I need a sewing machine with NOS, dammit!

Lots of things have been happening. I can’t think of what half of them are. The store might be closing, since Ken didn’t do a damn thing that the health inspector told him to, and that’s about to get shoved right up his ass. Everyone’s losing their tempers; Fred made Lori cry in front of the donut case one day. It’s nuts.

[Edit: Later. Post-dinner.]

Certainly one of the more entertaining dinners I’ve had in a while.

Mom's punchy. That’s what started it. That, and the beets.

Mom asks Dad, Do you want some beets?

Dad says Yes. Is that all there is?

Mom says, No, there’s more in the pot. And she gives him some more.

Dad says, Did you just give me all of the beets?

Mom says, No, I didn’t. (She’s lying.)

Dad says, You gave me all the beets!

I did not!

You did too!

Well, I don’t want any!

Yes you do!

No I don’t!

Dammit woman, you want some beets! Here, take them back! (Dad picks up his plate to dump the beets onto hers.)

(Mom grabs the plate away.) NOOOO! I don’t want ANY BEETS AT ALL! I WANT TOMATOES!!!!

(Heather and Kelsey made faces. The beet juice mixing with butter looked like a horror movie gone wrong.)

( The CIA Discussion )

Anyway, I’ve had a little time to calm down now. Of course, in that timeframe, I’ve smacked myself in the head with the door, tripped twice over the rug while dancing to the radio, and knocked over two boxes of something out in the hallway while trying to call Maurice, whose line was busy.

Ow, dammit.

In other news:

~ My favorite pair of jeans now has an irreparable hole. I’m torn between throwing myself off a cliff or committing “Harry Canary,” as Joanie says.

~ I have discovered Toblerone. After reading about it in Bagenders, I was like, what is that? Only the food of the gods. Muah ha ha.

~ Planning a trip to New York for the end of the month. Maybe. In between the opera and the wedding that I’m going to with Andy. I need a marzipan fix, a provolone fix, and black bean cakes or I’m going to die.

~ I have a pattern, but no fabric, for my costume. I found the perfect fabric for it, but it’s green. Grrrr.

~ I bought a Ghetto Evenstar. Go me! Cheapo knockoffs!

~ Saw “Kill Bill” yesterday. It was really good, in a bloodsoaked sort of way. “This,” spank, “is,” spank, “what happens,” spank, spank, “when you,” spank, “play,” spank, “with,” spank, spank, “Yakuzas!!! NOW GO HOME TO YOUR MOTHER!!!”

~ Cleaned out some stuff I’ve had hanging around since eighth grade. Found, among other things, some really bad fanfiction, my first (bug like, horrible) anime style drawing, the Fanfic Folder from High School (Sailor Moon! Hooray!) and the indomitable List of Ways to Die.

I’ve also been re-reading a lot of Anne books. I never read Anne of Windy Poplars for some reason, and I kind of randomly read it last week. It moves right up into second place of my favorite Anne books (Island being my all time favorite.) It was like, WHOA- it took me years to read this book, and on the very first page I find a sentence that I’d like to tattoo on myself.

Actually, the reason for the Anne books was the Silmarillion book. I took out “A Reader’s Guide to the Silmarillion” (a wonderful book, for those of you who didn’t quite absorb it all. It’s a giant summary, with a few comments that really clear things up) and was reading that, but then put that down to read Gossip Girl.

Gossip Girl is really… funny, I guess, in a weird sort of way. I really liked it, but there is no way in Hell that you can go from reading about Aveda facials and credit cards and screwing around in a Motel Six on the way to your Yale interview with your soon-to-be stepbrother, or whatever, to reading anything even remotely related to Tolkien without some sort of bridging book. Mine turned out to be Anne, and I’ve been kind of thinking like those books ever since. (You know- I betook myself to bed, and all that.)

But I got through everything without too many brain clouds. Hooray. I want to read the other Gossip Girl books. I thought they would be dumb, but they’re really not. It’s like the Princess Diaries, which I’m totally addicted to. Nothing like the movie at all. Princess Mia’s grandmother? Julie Andrews she is not. She’s a permanent-makeup, sidecar-drinking, domineering bitch. I love her. And her mom got knocked up by her algebra teacher (although she marries him.) So not Disney.

I think that’s enough babbling for now. I’ll probably have some more babbling to do later.

In fact, I’m relatively sure I will.

[Edit: My cat is chewing on my Aragorn poster. Bad cat.]

The Great Northeast Power Blackout, brought to you (again) by the People On Whom You Rely to Power Your War!!!

Yes. Absolutely brilliant... the whole freaking Northeast was out, from NY to Toronto and out to Detroit.

Except, of course, for FUCKING CATO AND SOLVAY!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

Yesterday

Got out of work at 11:15. Blah. Went home, went to sleep, and then Kelsey’s telling me the power’s out. That seemed of little or no importance to me until I realized that a) the fan was off and it was getting warm rather quickly; and b) there was no music to listen to as my CD player wasn’t working. So I pulled my tired ass out of bed and went with Mater and Tess to Kinney’s. As if that would be easy. Hah.

Four hours later I’m just leaving Big M’s. The vast majority of that time I was leading shoppers around in the dark with a flashlight, writing down prices of what they wanted on a piece of paper because the scanners weren’t working. Then we moved all of the meat into the cooler- it didn’t do much good; the place stinks. Or it did this morning when we kind of looked in there. Phew.

All in all, I think we all could learn something from this situation. Here are some of the things I learned:

~ People still want decorated cakes. Even if there are none in the case, and you write crooked on the message cookies because you can’t see in the dark.

~ Cookies will sell when the lights are out and the icing is shitty.

~ Nothing will come between customers and macaroni salad and SIX SLICES OF HAM GODDAMMIT. (Yes, that is verbatim.)

~ For some reason, people assume that when you’re holding a flashlight for them and writing down prices that 1) you are their own personal servant and are there to hold their groceries for them (not true) and 2) that you should give them a break on the prices (also not true.) Said person will also be going all over the store and not make up their mind. The only thing that will alleviate the tension of this situation is said person’s friend, doing the booty bounce to her own music and following her around going, “You think you all that. You ain’t all that. Lookit you, trippin in the dark, fallin on yo ass. You SO not all that. You think you the shit and you ain’t… lookit you, fallin on YO ASS!” and showing the way with a cell-phone flash light.

~ It is, in fact, “OKAY, I just heard the MAYOR OF NEW YORK CITY say it’s NOT TERRORISTS, it’s ONLY NIMO!!!!”

(A hysterical woman, consoling a loved one on a cell phone in the dairy aisle, that this is not September 11th number two, and not to duct tape the windows shut quite yet.)

~ You can hide and eat donuts really well when there are no lights on. People walk right by you and leave you alone.

Actually it was a good thing I stayed to help out, because I got to see Alicia again. Haven’t seen her in an age. She was buying lots of bananas. Huzzah for bananas.

“I’m thinking…international incident…. I’ll take two.” Alicia, pondering on the impact of terrorism and potato chips.

And that’s it for right now, as the dreaded ‘One Day Sale’ is tomorrow and I need sleep. Stay tuned next time as Heather regales you with her tale of her Day at the Pool, and the new friend she made- a published writer and amateur furniture restorer who writes poems about space shuttles and Chavez!

Have laid motherfucking cake smackdown.

Go me.

( Read more... )

Ben-

Where are you?

We're all worried. Heidi, your parents, everyone is freaking out cause you're gone. Please call someone and let them know that you're okay? Please? You don't have to say where you are or where you're going or how long you're going to be gone, but we miss you and are worried about you. Please call, or update, or email, or send a postcard, but please get in touch. Everyone's scared.

You've got to do what you have to do, and that's okay, understandable. But please, please, please drop someone a line so that we know that you're okay.

Heather

I have another wake to go to tonight.

The Professor died the other day. He was my favorite character that was a regular customer at the store. He was crazy, always telling jokes and stuff. I’ll miss him.

In other news I got my hair cut today. It’s cool, all layered. Then we went and saw Hollywood Homicide. It’s a good movie. I give it a thumbs up.

In more other news Father John is leaving the church. This was a surprise, but my sister always takes thing like this badly- this time she burst into tears and would not be comforted. Told her not to be so emotional about it- if I had to deal with Fern Butler for seven years I’d be trying to get out of it, too, but she wouldn’t listen to me. Also told her that letter said that F. John wouldn’t be leaving CNY, but when Tess gets into crying jags she will not get out. V. stupid. V. girly, V. emotional.

Also told her that besides, Suzanne is one of my best friends in the world so will not lose track of them any time soon.

Ayako-chan, want me to pick you up an application for Smith’s? Cause it’s close and all. Don’t know what you want to do, so let me know. Or Hooter’s. Whichever- but Smith’s is closer and my car is falling apart. Anyhow, ‘twill be fun. Yes.

Off to wake now.

This has been Feather, reporting from BumFuckEgypt. Stay tuned for our nightly newscast at eleven.

I really hope that I don't have to go into work tomorrow. Work being the bakery, actually, where I haven't worked since January or whenever. But Mom is still sick and Mike is being a schmuck again and not showing up. Whatever.

But I reeeeeeeeealllly don't want to. *pouts* I have to set my alarm for four anyway, just in case, cause I don't hear the phone up in the garret unless I'm listening for it. (Elven hearing, my ass. Elven SELECTIVE hearing, more like it :D)

Anyway. Here's some wonderful Numenorean lamentation for you.

Kadô Zigûrun zabathân unakkha...
Êruhînim dubdam Ugru-dalad...
Ar-Pharazônun azaggara Avalôiyada...
Bârim an-Adûn yurahtam dâira sâibêth-mâ Êruvô
azrîya du-phursâ akhâsada
Anadûnê zîrân hikallaba...
bawîba dulgî...
balîk hazad an-Nimruzîr azûlada...
Agannâlô burôda nênud...
zâira nênud...
adûn izindi batân tâidô ayadda: îdô kâtha batîna lôkhî...
Êphalak îdôn Yôzâyan
Êphal êphalak îdôn hi-Akallabêth


Seemingly humbled the Dark Wizard came
Drawing the Children of Eru under his shadow
Ar-Pharazôn brought war against the Valar
And the Lords of the West broke the Earth with the assent of Eru.
The seas crashed and rushed into the chasm
And Númenor the beloved was struck down
The winds of the angry skies blew black
As Elendil and his seven ships sailed eastward…
The Death-shadow is heavy on us
And we long for that which was lost
Westward roads, once straight, are now crooked
Far away now is the Land of Gift
Far away now is She-that-hath-fallen…

I think that's the prettiest thing in the world right now. Tomorrow, who knows. I've been singing it all day and part of last night. When sung to "Voices" from Macross Plus it really kind of works. It's also really awkward to speak, but kind of rolls off the tongue when sung.

Okay, okay, I'll stop.

Nyah, Nyah, I'm on a search for new icons again.

*tries not to look obvious* Anyone want to make me one?

On an entirely different note, this song is flippin' funny. Yeah.

Meaning that I've said "motherfucking" "motherfucker" or "motherfuck" about forty or fifty times in a seven hour period. I said "fucking motherfuck" when I grabbed a hot-out-of-the-over tray without gloves. But that really hurt. Everything that could have gone wrong did this morning. Up to and including someone messing with the temperature on the oven and forgetting to turn it back up so everything was light and underdone. The owner's wife did it, cooking chickens yesterday or something. So I can't really say anything to her. But I DID leave a really obnoxious sign on the oven door. It says:

"IF YOU USE THE OVEN, PLEASE PUT THE TEMPERATURE BACK ON 400 WHEN YOU'RE DONE WITH IT. OTHERWISE THE BREAD GETS ALL MESSED UP. THANK YOU."

And then when we went through the KFC drive through those happygoluckysonsofbitches forgot my potato wedges. AGAIN. Every fucking KFC I've been to in the past year always forgets my damn potato wedges. If I wasn't so stubborn I'd just call it fate and give it all up as a bad job.

In other news:

~ I bought Tess the Elijah Wood YM. I almost got the Orlando Bloom one. Then I didn't.
~ I have PANTS. Suede. Brown. PANTS.
~ Tiara update: Way behind and not finished. Go me.

All I want to do is go horseback riding. But it's too damn cold out. I hate being cold. It's always cold up in the garret. I feel like the Little Match Girl, sans angst.

I love waifs. I've always had this fascination with them, even when I was little. I love the Little Match Girl, and the Good King Wenceslas song, Dickens, and A Little Princess. When we moved to California, and our furniture hadn't arrived yet, all I did was sit around and draw pictures of waifs under streetlights in the snow holding empty buckets. Then the furniture got there and I didn't draw them anymore.

Liv Tyler's makeup in LOTR is fucking EXPENSIVE. I checked. $30 for superlight powder. Hell no. Thank you, god, for Wal Mart. Although I got the lipstick and it rocks.

Tom. You. Will. Never. Foil. My. Plans.

BWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!