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nirix5Drama. No drama. No fucking drama at all, but I may have a plan- I’ve got one half of a round trip ticket to Phoenix and until September to use it. If I go by plane to Phoenix, I could spend time there and then James and Dan could pick me up when they swing through on their road trip, and there’s my ride back. Muah ha ha, I am beyond brilliant.
I had such strange dreams last night. I woke up mad. I’ve woken up scared, and sad, and happy before, but never as livid as this morning. I’m rarely that mad in waking life. Fucking odd, I tell you.
I had something to say here, but I’ve forgotten it.
I'm feeling kind of upset with myself, just for letting things go to hell. With other people, I mean.
I have all these friends, people I look up to, want to be around, admire and want to emulate, but instead of keeping in touch and actually working on the relationship, I let myself bop in and out of their lives. That makes me a shitty person, right? Well, yeah, it does.
It's not as if I don't think about these people more or less constantly. I do, I just don't do anything about it. And half the time, I don't want to. I don't have the energy to get on AIM and talk to a bazillion people at a time. Or write a ton of letters only to find out I have no stamps, and by the time I get stamps the letters are outdated; which is always the case.
Maybe it has something to do with the way I live, and how I deal with time, which is not the way everyone else does.
And now I'm rambling and I have absolutely no idea what point I was trying to make, except that I love all of my friends, even if I can't keep up with them.
I had such strange dreams last night. I woke up mad. I’ve woken up scared, and sad, and happy before, but never as livid as this morning. I’m rarely that mad in waking life. Fucking odd, I tell you.
I had something to say here, but I’ve forgotten it.
I'm feeling kind of upset with myself, just for letting things go to hell. With other people, I mean.
I have all these friends, people I look up to, want to be around, admire and want to emulate, but instead of keeping in touch and actually working on the relationship, I let myself bop in and out of their lives. That makes me a shitty person, right? Well, yeah, it does.
It's not as if I don't think about these people more or less constantly. I do, I just don't do anything about it. And half the time, I don't want to. I don't have the energy to get on AIM and talk to a bazillion people at a time. Or write a ton of letters only to find out I have no stamps, and by the time I get stamps the letters are outdated; which is always the case.
Maybe it has something to do with the way I live, and how I deal with time, which is not the way everyone else does.
And now I'm rambling and I have absolutely no idea what point I was trying to make, except that I love all of my friends, even if I can't keep up with them.
Hrm
Date: 2002-06-13 05:12 am (UTC)Actually, I'm glad you keep this journal up-to-date. Since you don't have much time to get on AIM, etc, I can come here to bask in your presence.
*hugs*
-Blain