Just letting of steam.
Sep. 28th, 2004 05:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nirix5Thirty five minutes until biology. I've been freaking out since last Thursday about the unit test.
[ihopeipassedihopeipassedihopeipassed]
To celebrate my imminent passing or not passing, I've spent the entire afternoon on the computer doing nothing.
I don't want to do anything. I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't want to RP, I don't want to write, I don't even want to read fanfics, although that's what I've been doing, in between looking at kimono that I can't afford.
(I saw the most gorgeous susohiki and it was ALREADY SOLD)
However, I did find a few places that offer traditional dance lessons in New York. I can't wait for this year to be over with, so I can move on with my life. I can't wait for this semester to be over with, so I can get a decent class schedule.
I'm thinking about dropping French in the spring because I don't speak it enough.
I really like the teacher, and I'm understanding certain grammatical points I missed before because she's explaining them in English, but therein lies the problem. She's explaining it in English. I used to get lost sometimes in high school when Madame Guillet or Madame Cooper spoke nothing but French for the whole period, but I got better at speaking it. This class is next to useless. How do you say "happy" again?
I'm just in a blue kind of mood today, I guess. Nothing seems good enough, or fast enough, or anything else enough. I'm tired and I don't know why. I have this horrible sinking feeling in my chest that I'm just spinning my wheels again over just about everything and it's driving me crazy. I hate feeling like this; like no matter what I do it's never going to be something I want with my whole being, so I'm just going to coast along, going through the motions until I die. I hate feeling like I missed out on something and there's nothing left for me except meaningless day-to-day ritual.
I hate people with obnoxious cell phone rings.
It's raining, and I'm hungry, and my bobby pin broke and now it has to get thrown out.
Seriously, though, if I don't get a good grade on this test, I'm quitting. Screw it. I'll go find something to do that doesn't require a college education. Like sheep farming in England. (I can have one of those little stone houses out on the moors.) Or I'll go to Weeki Watchee and be a mermaid. (Glub, glub, glub.)
I'll break myself out of this eventually. As soon as I hit up the vending machines for a sugar fix.
[ihopeipassedihopeipassedihopeipassed]
To celebrate my imminent passing or not passing, I've spent the entire afternoon on the computer doing nothing.
I don't want to do anything. I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't want to RP, I don't want to write, I don't even want to read fanfics, although that's what I've been doing, in between looking at kimono that I can't afford.
(I saw the most gorgeous susohiki and it was ALREADY SOLD)
However, I did find a few places that offer traditional dance lessons in New York. I can't wait for this year to be over with, so I can move on with my life. I can't wait for this semester to be over with, so I can get a decent class schedule.
I'm thinking about dropping French in the spring because I don't speak it enough.
I really like the teacher, and I'm understanding certain grammatical points I missed before because she's explaining them in English, but therein lies the problem. She's explaining it in English. I used to get lost sometimes in high school when Madame Guillet or Madame Cooper spoke nothing but French for the whole period, but I got better at speaking it. This class is next to useless. How do you say "happy" again?
I'm just in a blue kind of mood today, I guess. Nothing seems good enough, or fast enough, or anything else enough. I'm tired and I don't know why. I have this horrible sinking feeling in my chest that I'm just spinning my wheels again over just about everything and it's driving me crazy. I hate feeling like this; like no matter what I do it's never going to be something I want with my whole being, so I'm just going to coast along, going through the motions until I die. I hate feeling like I missed out on something and there's nothing left for me except meaningless day-to-day ritual.
I hate people with obnoxious cell phone rings.
It's raining, and I'm hungry, and my bobby pin broke and now it has to get thrown out.
Seriously, though, if I don't get a good grade on this test, I'm quitting. Screw it. I'll go find something to do that doesn't require a college education. Like sheep farming in England. (I can have one of those little stone houses out on the moors.) Or I'll go to Weeki Watchee and be a mermaid. (Glub, glub, glub.)
I'll break myself out of this eventually. As soon as I hit up the vending machines for a sugar fix.
