(no subject)

[nirix5]

Just watched the end of a particularly depressing ER.

I am never, ever having kids. Uh uh. Nope. And any time my resolve on this point weakens, I can just watch that episode and be like, "Oh right. About that... how's about NO." I will skydive, I will race cars, I will do umpteen other things that put my life at risk, but childbirth ain't gonna be on that list. If Quinn ever wants kids so bad, he can just figure out a way to do it seahorse style and have them himself.

Ew.

In other news...

OMG CSI WAS SO INCREDIBLY AWESOME LAST NIGHT!!!!!!ELEVEN11!!!

Comments

[tigurio-falzone.livejournal.com]

Didn't see ER, but I presume the mother died in child labor.... Feather, child or mother, sometimes people do die in labor... it doesn't mean you're going to. It also doesn't mean the majority do.

Life is shit. Look forward to what you might get, enjoy what you have, and never regret what you never have.

If you don't have kids, fine. But if you so much as have a doubt about it, instead of going back to that rare example of what might go wrong, consider that you only have one chance to be young. You have only one shot at life and if you live your life avoiding something so beautiful as being a mother, raising a child, sharing that love with the one you cherish (your spouse)... then why get married at all? Why fall in love?

You fall in love to share your life with someone else, and they fall in love with you so they can share their life with you. If you're adamant against labor and giving birth to your own, consider adopting a baby. They come pre-born, ready for diapers.

There's a lot of kids who need homes, who will otherwise grow up in foster homes, being moved around because nobody can... or will... adopt them.

While you can't take in every single adoptable baby out there (I'm sure you don't want to either) I'm reminded of a parable about a little girl who ran along the shore after high tide, throwing back starfish... A man told her "What does it matter? So many are going to die." And her sole response was "It matters to this one." As she tossed another back out to sea...

I know I'm talking a lot. But I'm serious. Children are a big part of life. You don't want to miss out on that... Sure, there's puke and booboos and soiled beds or underwear... sometimes there's trips to the hospital for broken elbows or legs...

But, in the end, if you don't give up on them, they grow up to be good people, strong, thinking people... I'm only 19, but I know so many people who are glad they were parents, and I know so many people who are bitter because they weren't...

So I am just saying that kids are a wonderful thing to have. Don't abandon parenthood because of a real depressing *TV show*...

PS: CSI IS ALWAYS AWESOME!! But I don't have a TV for meself...

[nirix5.livejournal.com]

Hmm. First, I'm sorry this took so long to reply to... things have been nuts, lately, and I felt that this deserved more than a brush-off reply because a) as one of my friends, I feel you deserve such, and b) because it is a topic I feel strongly about.

I'm not abandoning parenthood because of a TV show. That actually has very little to do with anything, other than to reinforce the squick factor for me. (And yes, the squick factor is there. Just the thought of having a kid makes me want to puke. But then, most medical things make my stomach turn, if they have to do with living people.)

There are many reasons why I never want to have children. For instance, I'm not really willing to deal with the stretch marks, saggy bits, and fatigue that comes with pregnancy and childbirth. I don't want to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars raising a child ($500,000 pre-college) when I can think of things that I'd much rather spend the money on, such as furthering my own education or hobbies. I'm not willing to give up the things that make my life pleasurable for someone else, frankly. My career choices and hobbies are both very individualistic and time-consuming; fitting another adult into my life has been more of a trial than I ever needed.

I mean, come on. How would a kid feel if mommy was off in some foreign country six months of the year, to a place where said kid couldn't go because it was dangerous, and when mommy was home she didn't want to spend time with the kid because she just wanted to unwind and relax? Because I'm telling you, that's what would happen. I'd be the kind of parent that prefers minimal contact; i.e., saying goodnight over intercoms.

On a less self-involved note, I'd rather not bring someone into a world that's getting more fucked up by the day. Why would I do that to someone knowing that they're going to get pigeonholed, medicated, have sloppy discipline, and come out of adolecence generally ignorant? Not that all people graduate from school stupid, but many of them do. (Look at the people who went to our school. Some of the people I go to school with now can't write an essay at an eighth-grade level.) I'm not going to be able to afford the best schools for any kid I have, barring the chance that I win the lottery or something.

And, while the topic is up, I don't want to put more strain on the environment and add to the planet's general over-population woes.

Eh. I mean, maybe having kids is for you, and god bless you for it. But me? Any happy ending involving kids that I try to imagine always ends badly. And generally, that's how I know if something's going to work or not- my little way of visualizing my gut instincts, or something. If I picture myself having a child, I only see myself going crazy with post-partum depression and killing someone else or myself. The other thing I see is me feeding a baby in a high chair, putting the spoon down, walking out the door, and not coming back. It wouldn't be pretty.

If I really want to help kids, I don't have to adopt them. I can donate a thousand bucks a year to a village in Africa and enrich the lives of thirty kids. I can join the Peace Corps and teach them how to read or whatever. Plus, I hate how everything is child-oriented nowadays. Adults need help to, you know. I'm more liable to volunteer to teach illiterate adults than I am to do anything with kids.

Could all this change? Yeah, provided my biological clock and signifigant other are in cahoots. I don't know if that would be a good thing, though. That's the one trap that I really wouldn't be able to wiggle my way out of, and it makes me intensely claustrophobic.

But hey. Tell you what- you have kids, and I'll babysit them sometimes, and let them stay up too late and eat ice cream for dinner. Everyone wins. You get some time to yourselves, and I get... kid-time? Yay? lol.