I do so know what you mean. I am sure Nelys has told you about my fathers recent passing. Although the causes are two seperate things the effects are strikingly similar in regards to what you experience. A cold shiver ran down my spine as I read your entry. My father also would have the same types of outbursts his resulting from alcoholic hazes but I too did the same thing as you it seems. I would hide and pretend I was anywhere but where I was ... the stars mostly, somewhere out in space as I stared out the window in my bedroom devoid of my surroundings. This is why I SCUBA dive now, tis the closest I will come to being that free floating in a mysterious world. I find it quite relaxing. I could never go to him with my problems and tis why I keep most things to myself of a personal nature. I much rather bare the burden of my problems then having to ever risk even remotely comming near an outburst as he did. I feel as this is similar to your quietness as well. I always loved him and I now do indeed miss him greatly but I understand what you feel I believe. I know we hardl know each other but feel free to give me a call anytime (get my number from nelys) if you wish to speak with an understanding ear, please know I am here to listen. Perhaps I am way off base but I know it always helped to know you had another comrade in the field
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2002-02-26 08:01 pm (UTC)I do so know what you mean. I am sure Nelys has told you about my fathers recent passing. Although the causes are two seperate things the effects are strikingly similar in regards to what you experience. A cold shiver ran down my spine as I read your entry. My father also would have the same types of outbursts his resulting from alcoholic hazes but I too did the same thing as you it seems. I would hide and pretend I was anywhere but where I was ... the stars mostly, somewhere out in space as I stared out the window in my bedroom devoid of my surroundings. This is why I SCUBA dive now, tis the closest I will come to being that free floating in a mysterious world. I find it quite relaxing. I could never go to him with my problems and tis why I keep most things to myself of a personal nature. I much rather bare the burden of my problems then having to ever risk even remotely comming near an outburst as he did. I feel as this is similar to your quietness as well. I always loved him and I now do indeed miss him greatly but I understand what you feel I believe. I know we hardl know each other but feel free to give me a call anytime (get my number from nelys) if you wish to speak with an understanding ear, please know I am here to listen. Perhaps I am way off base but I know it always helped to know you had another comrade in the field
Warm Regards
Darkshade