Secret Diary #1
Feb. 8th, 2002 10:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nirix5The V. Secret Diary of Kelsey...
Day 1
# Heather's boyfriends dispatched: 3, v. good.
# Of dents in shovel afterwards: only 2, v. good.
Have kidnapped Frodo. Go me! Am keeping him secret, at least for now, as am considered jailbait and do not want to get Frodo in trouble. Suspect Heather is suspicious, though. Told her whimpering sounds coming from under bed is the cat. Was bad idea as cat chose that moment to walk by us from the direction of bathroom.
Day 4
# of Heather's boyfriends dispatched: 0, but v. good as none came calling.
# of times forgot to feed Frodo: 4 in past 3 days, but am improving, so v. good.
# of times had to redo homework to anal retentive father's specifications: 16. V. bad. V. v. bad.
Am remembering to feed Frodo. Not as consistent as he thinks appropriate, however, can only pilfer so much food from kitchen without Mom noticing. Got fed twice today. Must be content with Oreo's, some cherry tomatoes and a banana. Will get dinner leftovers, as Mom and Dad are going shopping and Heather holes herself in her garret as soon as humanly possible to avoid all contact with others of her race. Think she is training to be a nun. V. uncertain as of right now.
Day 6
# of hobbits met today: 3, v. interesting as looking for a certain someone stashed under my bed.
Sam onto me. Followed me home and discovered Frodo. V. bad.
// Later //
Sam says will kill me if try anything.
Told said hobbit to bring it. Have shovel in garage with his name on it.
Will see who gets killed.
Day 7
# of men in house: 9. v. bad.
# of unconscious men in house: 7. v. good.
# of different species in house: 4. v. strange.
# of lies told to Heather concerning men in house: 17.432, v. bad, but suspect she stopped caring after making off to garret with tall blonde elf.
# of times Frodo passed out: 1. v. bad as still gone.
Tried something with Frodo. Sam tried to kill me. Hit Sam over head with shovel. Hit Merry and Pippin over shovel for good luck. Hit Boromir because he looked at Heather. Hit Gandalf and Strider for shits and giggles. Tied all to post in basement with handset cords and cross-connect wire from Dad's truck. Have delivered smackdown. Go me!
Let Gimli go as is interesting fellow, plus needed help moving big burly men into basement.
Let Elf Boy go to distract Heather.
Told Gimli to make himself at home. Gave him Dark Angel TV guide and bag of chips.
Am going to wake up Frodo. Go me!
Day 1
# Heather's boyfriends dispatched: 3, v. good.
# Of dents in shovel afterwards: only 2, v. good.
Have kidnapped Frodo. Go me! Am keeping him secret, at least for now, as am considered jailbait and do not want to get Frodo in trouble. Suspect Heather is suspicious, though. Told her whimpering sounds coming from under bed is the cat. Was bad idea as cat chose that moment to walk by us from the direction of bathroom.
Day 4
# of Heather's boyfriends dispatched: 0, but v. good as none came calling.
# of times forgot to feed Frodo: 4 in past 3 days, but am improving, so v. good.
# of times had to redo homework to anal retentive father's specifications: 16. V. bad. V. v. bad.
Am remembering to feed Frodo. Not as consistent as he thinks appropriate, however, can only pilfer so much food from kitchen without Mom noticing. Got fed twice today. Must be content with Oreo's, some cherry tomatoes and a banana. Will get dinner leftovers, as Mom and Dad are going shopping and Heather holes herself in her garret as soon as humanly possible to avoid all contact with others of her race. Think she is training to be a nun. V. uncertain as of right now.
Day 6
# of hobbits met today: 3, v. interesting as looking for a certain someone stashed under my bed.
Sam onto me. Followed me home and discovered Frodo. V. bad.
// Later //
Sam says will kill me if try anything.
Told said hobbit to bring it. Have shovel in garage with his name on it.
Will see who gets killed.
Day 7
# of men in house: 9. v. bad.
# of unconscious men in house: 7. v. good.
# of different species in house: 4. v. strange.
# of lies told to Heather concerning men in house: 17.432, v. bad, but suspect she stopped caring after making off to garret with tall blonde elf.
# of times Frodo passed out: 1. v. bad as still gone.
Tried something with Frodo. Sam tried to kill me. Hit Sam over head with shovel. Hit Merry and Pippin over shovel for good luck. Hit Boromir because he looked at Heather. Hit Gandalf and Strider for shits and giggles. Tied all to post in basement with handset cords and cross-connect wire from Dad's truck. Have delivered smackdown. Go me!
Let Gimli go as is interesting fellow, plus needed help moving big burly men into basement.
Let Elf Boy go to distract Heather.
Told Gimli to make himself at home. Gave him Dark Angel TV guide and bag of chips.
Am going to wake up Frodo. Go me!
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wow
Date: 2002-02-08 09:07 pm (UTC)Tito
no subject
no subject
Date: 2002-02-08 10:02 pm (UTC)I owe much, I have nothing; the rest I leave to the poor
~Francois Rabelais~
no subject
Date: 2002-02-09 08:45 am (UTC)Kelsey! Kelsey! Quick! The door, Kelsey! Get the door! Yes, there is someone there... just go out & look!
I'm so bored. Come visit.