Inside my head, part 7372...

Legolas was having trouble understanding the conversation.

The setting: leftovers night at the kitchen table. The subject: war. The question: What, if a biological something detonated and you only had seventy two hours left to live, would you do with the remaining time?

The answer: oh, the answers. The answers were the confusing part.

Heather looked pensively into her glass of soda. “Dude, if that happened, fuck it. If someone thinks I’m going to duct tape myself inside my house and die of suffocation they’ve got another thing coming.” She took a sip and then grinned. “I’m going to go outside and barbeque, dammit.”

Saint Babs laughed. “We can raid Big M’s. Hold up The D’s with the bakery knives and take whatever we want.”

“Steaks!” squealed Tess, rubbing her hands together.

“Smirnoff Ice,” added Heather.

“We’ll have a party in the back yard.”

“We can go to the bridal shop and steal some dresses- wear whatever we want.”

“I’m going down to Ninja!Boys’ house and hijacking their bikes,” Heather said, grinning evily. Saint Babs laughed and shook her head. “Hey, you. We’re gonna die. I want a ride…”

It was all downhill from there. Fifteen minutes later all three had collapsed into uncontrollable giggles, mostly due to mental images of the hijinks they were going to pull. Pinching so-and-so’s nose. Stealing jewelry. Eating everything in sight. Midnight margaritas- what those were, Legolas wasn’t exactly sure- barbeques, parties, street races, loud music, dancing.

“I’m gonna get laid,” said Tess abruptly (fifteen-year-old Tess, who in her mother’s eyes was still only ten,) shocking everyone in the room.

“Tess!” Saint Babs’s appalled face sent Heather into another fit of giggling.

“I’m gonna jump Elijah Wood,” she continued.

“I’m gonna jump Orlando Bloom,” Heather threw in her two cents, drawing a sharp look from Legolas.

Their mother thought for a second before saying matter-of-factly, “I guess I’ll just have to jump your father.”

Ew, ew, ew. The two girls made faces until Babs relented, deciding that she would jump Viggo instead. But only as Strider.

“Don’t worry, Lego. I won’t let any fangirls getcha,” Heather whispered to Legolas, who was sitting next to her, as usual.
“Your conversation confuses me, although-” he began. Suddenly he stopped. “Why is your sister doing that?” Heather followed the elf’s line of sight.

“Mom, are my eyes crossed?” she asked, one finger pointing to her nose (both eyes were indeed trained on it.)

“Only if you dot your T’s,” answered Saint Babs, and Legolas put his head down on the table in exasperation and wondered why he stuck around.

Inside my head, part 7372...

Legolas was having trouble understanding the conversation.

The setting: leftovers night at the kitchen table. The subject: war. The question: What, if a biological something detonated and you only had seventy two hours left to live, would you do with the remaining time?

The answer: oh, the answers. The answers were the confusing part.

Heather looked pensively into her glass of soda. “Dude, if that happened, fuck it. If someone thinks I’m going to duct tape myself inside my house and die of suffocation they’ve got another thing coming.” She took a sip and then grinned. “I’m going to go outside and barbeque, dammit.”

Saint Babs laughed. “We can raid Big M’s. Hold up The D’s with the bakery knives and take whatever we want.”

“Steaks!” squealed Tess, rubbing her hands together.

“Smirnoff Ice,” added Heather.

“We’ll have a party in the back yard.”

“We can go to the bridal shop and steal some dresses- wear whatever we want.”

“I’m going down to Ninja!Boys’ house and hijacking their bikes,” Heather said, grinning evily. Saint Babs laughed and shook her head. “Hey, you. We’re gonna die. I want a ride…”

It was all downhill from there. Fifteen minutes later all three had collapsed into uncontrollable giggles, mostly due to mental images of the hijinks they were going to pull. Pinching so-and-so’s nose. Stealing jewelry. Eating everything in sight. Midnight margaritas- what those were, Legolas wasn’t exactly sure- barbeques, parties, street races, loud music, dancing.

“I’m gonna get laid,” said Tess abruptly (fifteen-year-old Tess, who in her mother’s eyes was still only ten,) shocking everyone in the room.

“Tess!” Saint Babs’s appalled face sent Heather into another fit of giggling.

“I’m gonna jump Elijah Wood,” she continued.

“I’m gonna jump Orlando Bloom,” Heather threw in her two cents, drawing a sharp look from Legolas.

Their mother thought for a second before saying matter-of-factly, “I guess I’ll just have to jump your father.”

Ew, ew, ew. The two girls made faces until Babs relented, deciding that she would jump Viggo instead. But only as Strider.

“Don’t worry, Lego. I won’t let any fangirls getcha,” Heather whispered to Legolas, who was sitting next to her, as usual.
“Your conversation confuses me, although-” he began. Suddenly he stopped. “Why is your sister doing that?” Heather followed the elf’s line of sight.

“Mom, are my eyes crossed?” she asked, one finger pointing to her nose (both eyes were indeed trained on it.)

“Only if you dot your T’s,” answered Saint Babs, and Legolas put his head down on the table in exasperation and wondered why he stuck around.

Rambling, rambling, over the bounding... highway???

Okay. So my biggest problem lately-aside from the usual financial issues and whatnot- has been sleeping. I haven’t been able to fall asleep, and I’ve brought it on myself.

You might think it concerned my fascination with Macbeth, considering all the trouble they have in that play with sleeping and insomnia and everything else that comes with murder and mayhem. True, I’ve been working on doing a modern-type version of Macbeth, but this isn’t the reason for my sleepless nights.

No, I can blame this one squarely on Legolas.

Or, more specifically, this poster of Legolas, which is about four feet square and hanging directly over my bed.



You know, the one that every time I passed it in the mall, I would kind of slow down and stop and giggle incoherently. With a really, really stupid grin on my face.

Well, now it’s over my bed and I’m done for. I giggle when I wake up, I giggle when I go to sleep at night. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The weird thing is the way the next door neighbor’s security light shines right thought my window, only illuminating Legolas’s face.

I can’t sleep at night because Legolas is staring at me.

What a wonderful dilemma to find myself in. I’d move it except there’s no place else to put it. I guess I’ll just have to get used to Legless staring at me when I’m trying to sleep.

Or, I could just go and buy a gun and shoot the neighbor’s light out. Yep. That would solve a lot of problems.

…………

See, I find this whole “Orlando Bloom Crush” think interesting, but at the same time, annoying. He’s SO not my type. Why, then, does just looking at him cause me to go into some sort of fangirl-sugar-coma? *shudder* Damn hormones. Or damn-lust-center-of-my-brain. Whichever.

But out of Orlandocuriosity, I went to a couple of his fansites. Nothing really interesting, except this compatability thing which I find hysterical.

99% physically compatible
22% emotionally compatible

There was more- 88% intellectually compatible or something- but who cares about that.

He’s not my type. He gets all… emotional and stuff. (Except for the sex. Yeah, hook me up with that.)

But enough about Helicopter Boy.

Happy Mother’s Day to everyone’s moms. Buy them flowers. That is your mission. Jeannette and her Troop sent my mom flowers via flowers.com from the DMZ in Korea... Mater started to cry, she was so touched. They all look forward to her letters and I think they've kind of adopted her.

And congratulations to darkshade and marilita who graduated!

Weather note: It is really FUCKING COOL outside. Windy. Black clouds with a yellow sky close to the horizon… my type of weather. Please excuse me, I’m about to have a come to Jesus meeting with a thunderstorm. I’ll be back, and finish this update, later.

Rambling, rambling, over the bounding... highway???

Okay. So my biggest problem lately-aside from the usual financial issues and whatnot- has been sleeping. I haven’t been able to fall asleep, and I’ve brought it on myself.

You might think it concerned my fascination with Macbeth, considering all the trouble they have in that play with sleeping and insomnia and everything else that comes with murder and mayhem. True, I’ve been working on doing a modern-type version of Macbeth, but this isn’t the reason for my sleepless nights.

No, I can blame this one squarely on Legolas.

Or, more specifically, this poster of Legolas, which is about four feet square and hanging directly over my bed.



You know, the one that every time I passed it in the mall, I would kind of slow down and stop and giggle incoherently. With a really, really stupid grin on my face.

Well, now it’s over my bed and I’m done for. I giggle when I wake up, I giggle when I go to sleep at night. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The weird thing is the way the next door neighbor’s security light shines right thought my window, only illuminating Legolas’s face.

I can’t sleep at night because Legolas is staring at me.

What a wonderful dilemma to find myself in. I’d move it except there’s no place else to put it. I guess I’ll just have to get used to Legless staring at me when I’m trying to sleep.

Or, I could just go and buy a gun and shoot the neighbor’s light out. Yep. That would solve a lot of problems.

…………

See, I find this whole “Orlando Bloom Crush” think interesting, but at the same time, annoying. He’s SO not my type. Why, then, does just looking at him cause me to go into some sort of fangirl-sugar-coma? *shudder* Damn hormones. Or damn-lust-center-of-my-brain. Whichever.

But out of Orlandocuriosity, I went to a couple of his fansites. Nothing really interesting, except this compatability thing which I find hysterical.

99% physically compatible
22% emotionally compatible

There was more- 88% intellectually compatible or something- but who cares about that.

He’s not my type. He gets all… emotional and stuff. (Except for the sex. Yeah, hook me up with that.)

But enough about Helicopter Boy.

Happy Mother’s Day to everyone’s moms. Buy them flowers. That is your mission. Jeannette and her Troop sent my mom flowers via flowers.com from the DMZ in Korea... Mom started to cry, she was so touched. They all look forward to her letters and I think they've kind of adopted her.

And congratulations to darkshade and marilita who graduated!

Weather note: It is really FUCKING COOL outside. Windy. Black clouds with a yellow sky close to the horizon… my type of weather. Please excuse me, I’m about to have a come to Jesus meeting with a thunderstorm. I’ll be back, and finish this update, later.